Denice Marciner

How did being a Daughter Without a Mother effected your relationships?

She wasn’t around to tell me how men are. Who they are. What they truly want from you… from a woman’s perspective. But abandonment. Anxious attachment style. Difficulty connecting with women. And probably a whole host of things that my therapist and I haven’t even grazed the surface of.*

That’s a lie – when I was 15 or 16 all of my moms children stayed the night at her house. Weird for me because I didn’t grow up with any of my siblings from my moms side. It was just a random one off. But I had recently had my first “sexual encounter”.

The only piece of advice she gave me…

“Make sure you’re getting something out of it.” MONEY

And to be honest – I could not confirm nor deny if she wasn’t a prostitute and I wasn’t trying to be a 304. So I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me. As an adult – I’m not saying she was right… but she wasn’t wrong. (In the way that I now understand what that saying means.)

Being a daughter without a mother meant – my relationship experience came from observing my dad. Annnnnd let’s just say – I’m my dads best son.

(He has all daughters – do with that information what you will.)

So what has being a daughter without a mother done to my relationships?

It’s pushed me into therapy so that I can work on becoming the best version of me. It made me see where/when I lacked the ability to make connections. It made me keep my relationships surface level… Except when I found someone I like who was low stakes and I trauma dumped. Because I didn’t know how to make a connection… Sometimes I still struggle.

It’s made me realize how jealous I was of my friends relationship with their mothers; of my step siblings relationship with my step mom (another story for another post).

Being a daughter without a mother means feelings come and go and you’re never sure when it’s going to happen. But we love forward.